On the black list...

Have you ever behaved badly at a store, restaurant (heaven forbid the floor spice), or salon that has marked you with a big fat 'A' (arschold)? Do the employees cringe at the sight of you? Do you feel a burning about the ears? If so, I feel for you...because I. have been there, done that. I used to be horrible to retail servants. I now realize the error in my ways, for my husband awakened in me an awareness...these people, these retail servants, they do not have a Masters degree - so cut them some slack. That said, it is not entirely undeserved in some cases. I'm not talking about the lady who can't add 1 + 1, or the man who thinks 50% and 20% equals 70% off. No, I'm talking bout the holier than thou retail goons who are personally affronted by your attempt to return something, complain or heaven forbid, have a question about something related to their area of "expertise*."
(*expertise used loosely in this context).

I have been a very well behaved consumer for quite some time now, not raising my voice or questioning the retailier's authority....even at times, acting stupid just to make them feel good. But yesterday at a well known retail store (rhymes with 'banana republic'), I took three relatively long receipts (aka, I spent a boatload) to get a price adjustment. Yes, I GET to have a price adjustment if within 14 days of purchase, check check. The MANager is soo agahst that I am receiving almost $100 in adjustments. He becomes instantly aloof, HELLO, I'm not trying to get your number or anything. When he finishes, he forgets to thank me...so I thank him for being so sassy. How'd ya like them apples?! So now, I'm pretty sure I'm on the blacklist. But you know what, some times it just feels good to slam an arschold.

Fo-eva 21?

Forever 21. You've seen it, the barganista fashionista's monument to everything that is hip, happening and hot for the 'Forever 21' set. Are you allowed to shop in the store if you aren't 21? Or (sigh) post 20's? What will happen to you if you go in, with your nada 21 booty be promptly racing back out the door cause you are uncomfortably older than the average clientele? The answer is a resounding NO. I've seen women (and men) of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages in Forever 21, for trendiness does not discriminate. Now, do realize that when you go into the store and look at the prices...you will have the purchasing power roughly equal to that of a small country (given the low low prices of these cheap cheap clothes)...that said, what will you do with all the options your riches affords? I'll tell you, it's a four letter word: E-D-I-T yourself!

Yes, I'm talkin' to you...the ladies out there that are waaaay too old to be rockin' a pair of skinny jeans with an Ed Harley t-shirt. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. So here's my shout out to learning and exercising the power of editing yourself into current trends.

Please do shop in Forever 21, you will fo-eva find good steals and current trends. But be mindful that their things run small and tight. So no you aren't that fat, you just aren't a 12 year old girl. Nor are you a 21 year old girl who wants her humps and bumps to be on parade. So here's your mission - head into Forever 21. Find trendy items to add to your age appropriate pieces and baddabing, you will be current without looking like Linda Hogan. But beware, you must try on before you buy, exchange only, no returns. Plus their clothes often fit odd, weird and some times downright bad. But then again, the clothes only last as long as the trends. So don't expect to pass on these gems to your posterity. Now, shop on!

**You may also find similar results in stores such as Gadzooks (same as Forever 21), H&M, TopShop, and Zara.